Now, I don’t want to jinx it, but our little girl (2) is sleeping solidly in her own room in her own bed without any intervention.
WAHOOO!!!! 2 years later, we lead a normal healthy life.
Now, we’re only on week 3 but things are most definitely improving — let me tell you why: –
*No falling asleep on the bottle
*Falling asleep in her own room
*Falling asleep without any cuddling, rocking, soothing,
*No music – see ya later ewan!!!
*FALLING ASLEEP WITHOUT MUMMY OR DADDY!!!
How you say? The gradual retreat. Next to her bed – top of the stairs – bottom of the stairs – the lounge – nothing.
Now, I read an article that got my back up, this sleep trainer was being all snooty (great word I should use that more) and was like ‘it’s not the child you need to sleep train, it’s the parents’ and I hate to say it but it was. Dan and I had to change to make Freya change. We are ‘reactive’ parents, which means that we don’t ignore our child when she makes noise, we tend to her every need and in doing so we have made our lives harder.
After reaching breaking point bad ass me came out — q: shaft music.
Now, I know the above phrase sounds brutal to those who are big softies and I hear ya, I come from a long line of big softies. Geez if Freya cried for a millisecond my dad is on.my.case.
I now see that after fulfilling her every need i.e comforting her when she cried we were doing her wrong. We weren’t giving her the opportunity to let her choose sleep. By being there to rely on us she knew no other way.
We literally pulled the rug from underneath her but it was worth it. It worked.
Parents who are miserable, sad, exhausted, arguing with your partners, cranky, crabby, anxious and at an all-time low, my advice is to get mean. Not horrible mean, but focused on the plan of attack mean. Don’t do it if you aren’t ready, but you’ll reach a point when you say the words ‘something has to be done’ ‘I can’t go on like this’ with a trolley load of conviction and then write down a plan and follow it through.