Don’t you just love the NHS?!

First meeting with the midwife clinic (yes I called back –cough *bitch* – and they set me up on the system).

 Fate had bunched together a handful of misfit ladies, one on her mobile phone with cut off jeans looking pretty chilled about the whole affair, two women with big gold earrings and black slick backed hair into a tight ponytail, one with heels and Capri trousers and a bling watch (screaming “I’m a career woman how long will this take?”). Like school I couldn’t find common ground with any of them but here we were in a semi circle formation eager for our tutorial.

 What happens next I can tell you is a complete waste of time and could have been done with the help of the Queen – her mottled side profile and an envelope.

You get given 5 x poorly photocopied pamphlets (you know when the writing falls down the page and lots of thick ink spots litter the stapled pages grrrr) and a letter listing all your choices of where and how you would like to have your baby.

That’s it really. I can’t divulge anymore – the midwife was lovely, she acted as the audio version of the pamplets – (although she did dish out some free vitamins though so all was not lost.)

I have booked in for an early scan outside the NHS (and paid for it) as I just want to hear the heartbeat – I’m now 8.5 weeks and I’m not thinking about labour or if I want candles or a birth pool or whales moaning in the background – I just want to get to the first hurdle and know my bubba is ok.

Websites that have been helpful.





This week I have: –

Bought a maternity bra (The equation is as follows the greater the comfort the less sexy it is – comfy>sexy) LOVE SUGARY SWEETS – Mr.Rowntree if you get wind of this blog and would like to sponsor me during this time, I am partial to your pastilles J 


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