Two and a bit marvellous

Image result for maybe the hokey pokey is what it's really all about

Back to the reason I started this blog. You.

So, what’s going on with you.

Things you love: –

*The Hokey Cokey! Yep that’s right you love it! In fact any kind of sing song. You’re all over it. You went to a party at the weekend and you started doing it solo. Doin’ mamma proud.

*Pasta and mascarpone sauce (I googled the spelling, I swear that’s right!) I tried to give you an organic red pesto and ricotta sauce with your spinach and ricotta pasta and I got ‘this sauce is a bit yucky, I like the other one’. Right. Got it.

*You sleep with flopsy bunny every night (still)

*Your baby — except this is very exciting for me – my mum (your grandma) gave you my baby and my cot and you love it! You have named her Zoe (re-named as I called her Natalie) and you put her to bed, wake her up, put her to bed, wake her up. The poor girl can’t catch a break, no wonder she’s always ‘crying’ and ‘needs a hug’.

*Peppa pig – hence the name Zoe (after Zoe Zebra). I think we have seriously watched every single episode. I get quite excited when I think it’s one we haven’t watched…but then it’s like…oh wait…no…hold on…seen it. Damn.

*Nursery – wahoooo! Your little smiley face when I pick you up from nursery warms my heart up ten fold. You come running out of the door with a big smile on your face every time.

Things I love about you: –

*The way you run. It’s more of a sassy waddle! When you grow and stretch that waddle will go. Maybe keep the sassy element tho’.

*Your imagination is amazing. Today we played ‘doctors’ for ages. We had Mr.T.Bear who had a bad stomach and Miss.F.Pony who had poorly hooves. Don’t fear readers –  we had some cream to put on them. Then I was poorly and you were the doctor, you mimicked me perfectly and introduced yourself to the patient with your full name with complete ease. Your professionalism could put some actual doctors to shame.

*Your confidence. I don’t know if this is part of you or because you are 2 and haven’t learnt social awkwardness yet, but you can (and do) just go up to people you (vaguely) know and start asking them questions. Mostly ‘can you jump up and down, like this?’ And the best bit is you make grown men and woman jump up and down on the spot just because you asked.

*Your maturity – which at times as I write this seems odd as you are 2 and you flip out over a door being open or closed, but I forget you are 2. You laugh when adults laugh. Your sense of humour is sometimes so wicked and so well timed – I think how can you be 2??

*Your eyes – I know I’m getting into really cheesy, cliche territory here, but you are an old soul my girl. There is a wisdom in your eyes that only comes from being on this earth before and there is a sparkle that flickers so brightly when you laugh. That light makes me ridiculously happy.

*Your brain – I know mums brag but you are so bright sweetheart. You can write, F (for Freya) D (for daddy) and M (for mummy) and you can draw hearts and circles. You can say onomatopoeia, supercilious and democracy. However when it comes to saying spaghetti you really struggle.🙂

I’ll stop waffling now. Till next month…

 

 

‘Home all day’

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I get it now!!!!

You know when thousands of partners who get up, get dressed, leave the house, go to work and then come home and say the most irritating words known to stay at home parents (I’m not sexist) everywhere…

‘Wow, what happened in here?’

‘Yes, I’ve had a great day thanks darling…oh what is that you are talking about in a passive aggressive way…the mess??? That would be your temperamental, highly strung, strong willed toddler with the attention span of a small puppy.’

‘Alright, calm down, what are we having dinner?’

‘God knows, I didn’t manage to go to the shops’ aka I wanted to avoid going into a shop and being the parent of the insane small person having an extreme meltdown over a packet of Skips.

‘Babe, I’m going to have to go back out, you’ve been home all day.’

Now before, this would always really annoy me as actually I haven’t been home ‘all day’. I try and give our child structure and fresh air and an ‘activity’ which involves bonding time for myself and my daughter: To develop her fragile little mind. Plus, getting her dressed and out of the house is more of a challenge than………..erm………….let’s just say it really really hard. So FU I haven’t been home all day. I’m not the nanny, the cleaner, the chef, the ‘stock replenisher’ and the fat controller! ha ha that isn’t PC anymore is it!

*And relax*

However, recently, whilst being off work and no nursery school, I haven’t had a lot of plans, I wake up and think ‘oh, bugger, no structure to the day – let’s just wing it at home’. Which means we just end up milling about the house. Because of this, you actually get stuff done!!!!

*Revelation*

Dan has come home to a clean and tidy house each day. I feel organised. Productive. I’m winning the war on domestic mess. Boom. Meanwhile Freya’s brain rots as she plays with play-doh for the 4th day in a row.

Thugs just need their mums

From my last post, a lot of stuff has ‘gone down’.

I no longer work part-time. I am now, how you say, a full time mum until I come up with an excellent plan to have it all. The career, amazing parent skills, the body – you know it all!!

Enough about me, this is a blog my growing girl/monster. So first off – we’ve bought a new house! It’s awesome. It’s bigger. It’s in the country. It has a garden.

Rewind to 1 month ago where we are in the midst of buying a house. It’s bloody stressful. I’ll just briefly go over the conversation I had with the child psychologist on the phone so that you get where I’m at…

Child psychologist: How can I help?

Me: Well, my child has become particularly scrappy at nursery (what I mean here is completely bat shit crazy – she’s a feral beast that needs solitary confinement) and her nana was called in to sign a form about an ‘incident’ the other day. (The incident being that she nearly gauged some girl’s eye out).

Child psychologist: How old is she?

Me: She’s two and two months. I know this behaviour is very common for her age, however this scrappiness has gone on for a while now and it’s with family members too. Sometimes quite vicious. *continue rambling* she hits if you get in her personal space and sometimes there is this look in her eye that is quite scary like she is intent on hurting. I’m worried that she might have a particularly aggressive nature?

Child psychologist: Is there anything going on at home at the moment if you don’t mind me asking?

Me: Erm well yes, we are in the process of buying a house and tensions are probably quite high at home.

Child psychologist: She is probably picking up on all the tension at home. If you are really concerned keep a diary of all the incidences and in 3 months come back to me if it hasn’t gone away.

Now at the time – I was thinking yeah ok, it does sound classic textbook psychology, but I felt sure that Freya was becoming an angry disturbed little human being and my concerns were being dismissed.

Rewind to 1 month in the new house with happy parents and a mum that is more hands on and pwoof! – the scrappy behaviour has gone. Now, we are all about the cuddles and kisses! Is this coincident? Does it have an affect on her me being home? Does she benefit more from a mum at home?

Which then creates the question which I’m sure most women in the UK ask themselves. Is it better for my child to be a stay at home mum or work?

 

 

 

 

I’m in trouble.

 

So, I think my two year old is smarter than me. Not like she outwits me because all kids outwit their parents. True fact.

To clarify, I think she is smarter than I ever was. On what basis I hear you say?

Well it’s not exactly what she knows at 2 years old (e.g counting to 20 and can spell her own name) as I’ve google this s*** and there are some other freaky Mensa toddlers roaming the UK so it’s just normal –  it’s more the speed she just ‘gets’ things.

I swear to you now, I never taught her how to hold a pencil and when I first saw her writing and colouring she looks like a 90 year old woman who has done it a thousand times over. I know that I’m not persuading you and that’s a poor example but I say to Dan ‘I think she’s reincarnated, she just knows too much for it to be new’. Obvs I am met with the usually scoffs from Dan about a notion as flowery as ‘reincarnation’.

I know most mums are prone to bragging, but this is more alarming. When she goes to school there will be no stopping her. In years to come she’ll look down on me as the endearingly dizzy (but foolish) mother. She’ll go to her dad for her homework (maths thank god!) and then there will be that moment when now she sees me as her main source of knowledge for this big bad world we live in, and then one day she will stop asking me questions.

That ‘ask mummy’ bubble will pop.

And so with new vigor I will respond with enthusiasm for every small fry question I can answer.

‘Mummy, what noise does a giraffe make?’

Errrrrrrrmmm….

 

 

 

 

You’re 2!

 

You love:

the Gruffalo. I have watched it about 40 times.
your baby ballet (it is really cute) especially bending your knees.
your trampoline and jumping on the bed in general.
talking – you could talk for England – you give me a running commentary of what is going on.
Food – pretty much anything – pasta in particular.
Swimming – nana takes you and you love it.
Hiding – it’s your favourite game.
Hop hop little bunnies is still your favourite song
Watching these weird videos on youtube called un-boxing (it’s odd but strangely addictive)
Your Auntie Char – she is your number 1 favourite no one else gets a look in.

You hate:

broccoli

Not fussed about:

dummy
blankets
dolls

Now sleeping is in the bag…..potty training is next on the agenda!!! Aahhh!

Stop press!

shaft

Now, I don’t want to jinx it, but our little girl (2) is sleeping solidly in her own room in her own bed without any intervention.

WAHOOO!!!! 2 years later, we lead a normal healthy life.

Now, we’re only on week 3 but things are most definitely improving — let me tell you why: –

*No falling asleep on the bottle

*Falling asleep in her own room

*Falling asleep without any cuddling, rocking, soothing,

*No dummy

*No music – see ya later ewan!!!

*FALLING ASLEEP WITHOUT MUMMY OR DADDY!!!

How you say? The gradual retreat. Next to her bed – top of the stairs – bottom of the stairs – the lounge – nothing.

Now, I read an article that got my back up, this sleep trainer was being all snooty (great word I should use that more) and was like ‘it’s not the child you need to sleep train, it’s the parents’ and I hate to say it but it was. Dan and I had to change to make Freya change. We are ‘reactive’ parents, which means that we don’t ignore our child when she makes noise, we tend to her every need and in doing so we have made our lives harder.

After reaching breaking point bad ass me came out — q: shaft music.

Now, I know the above phrase sounds brutal to those who are big softies and I hear ya, I come from a long line of big softies. Geez if Freya cried for a millisecond my dad is on.my.case.

I now see that after fulfilling her every need i.e comforting her when she cried we were doing her wrong. We weren’t giving her the opportunity to let her choose sleep. By being there to rely on us she knew no other way.

We literally pulled the rug from underneath her but it was worth it. It worked.

Parents who are miserable, sad, exhausted, arguing with your partners, cranky, crabby, anxious and at an all-time low, my advice is to get mean. Not horrible mean, but focused on the plan of attack mean. Don’t do it if you aren’t ready, but you’ll reach a point when you say the words ‘something has to be done’ ‘I can’t go on like this’ with a trolley load of conviction and then write down a plan and follow it through.

 

 

Freya met the fat man!

She cried.

And actually that’s prob not PC and also he actually wasn’t that fat. Not enough mince pies stuffed in his face yet clearly!!! I on the other hand had one in October. Mr Cringle do keep up.

I have to say Christmas ‘stuff’ is a whole new level of information for a small person.
Elf on the shelf (creepy…real creepy)
Christmas carols
A grotto!
Mince pies
A Christmas tree with lights
Small breakable decorations
Chocolate coins
Elf hunt in the neighbourhood
Visiting Santa
Writing a letter to Santa
His reindeers – all of their names?!
Mulled wine…oh wait no that’s just for me!

A non-chocolate advent calendar so that she get’s a ‘gift’ instead — (it’s the 10th, she is yet to receive a present as I have ran out of paper!)

An advent candle (I’m supposed to light until the line denotes one day has past – who does that?)

As so the story goes…

‘Santa is coming on a sleigh – led by reindeers and then he’ll come down our chimney! He’ll eat all of the food that we leave out on a plate and leave presents just for you. Only if you’re a good girl.’

#exhausted.

I can see she’s thinking what the hell are you talking about?!?!? I find myself thinking the same thing.

Yet here we are.

2 years old and she wants to ask Santa for a trampoline.🙂

I think he can manage that.

Merry Christmas everyone. Signing off for 2015.  Xxx