Society are obsessed with ‘what next?’
Recently I have been to hen-do, girly gatherings and a (very lovely boho) wedding. The thing is with these social gatherings is that people like to talk. Drink and talk! What a crazy notion!
What you will inevitably find is people ask ‘what next?’. I guess it’s nice to know how the story ends. They like to know how it all pans out….
When I was single I used to get: ‘Are you seeing anyone?’
When you have someone it’s: ‘Will you two move in together do you think?’
When you have moved in together: ‘Any plans for the spare bedroom – nursery?’
When you have produced ‘the pitter patter of little feet': ‘Any plans to have any more?’
And then obviously in-between there are the ‘my hat is collecting dust’, ‘old bride’ / ‘bastard child’ jokes on when you will make it all official by ‘putting a ring on it’.
The questions perhaps aren’t daunting when you have an answer for them. Dan and I have been having one of those conversations at the moment. (I make it sound like it’s a united thing – I think there’s lots of ‘baby crap’ around the house and think can I sell this or shall I keep? …then force a conversation Dan actually doesn’t feel comfortable having).
Any more? Can we really do this again? Would we survive? Still be together? If we have another one that doesn’t sleep will that lead to a nervous breakdown?????
We have, I think for sanity purposes, said no more. Just the one. Keep it simple. I’m still not selling my pram that I love or throwing out ALL the baby clothes (JUST in case) but for now, no more.
We have surfaced after a year. It’s life Jim but not as we know it, but a sense of normality has resumed. I think returning to work has given for me anyway a natural ebb back into the rhythm that is our chaotic family life.