Bit too churchy!

The time has come where I’m looking at PRIMARY schools for ‘dot’ (seriously considering changing the name of my blog – she’s not a dot on a screen anymore wahhh).

So here are the options: –

A) The school she attends now (pre-school) BUT it’s COE.
B) Another school in the market town that I have no idea about. Not churchy.
C) The primary school her dad went to that is in the village. Good vibes but a car journey away.

The reason I’m writing this blog is religion. Dan and I aren’t religious at all. To the point where both of us are mildly uncomfortable in a church, the pews alone are just so hard but then add on stories of God and JC (takes me back to my strong COE education).

To all those out there who are Christians. I respect that. That is your business. Your belief. But I don’t believe it and neither does Dan so is it hypocritical to send our little person to a school where Jesus is mentioned frequently. To introduce a concept to a child as big as God to someone so small and impressionable?

Dan told Freya about the Ice Age. That’s right – the Ice Age. She’s 3 people. Mainly because she had a week of loving dinosaurs and (to Dan’s delight) asked why they weren’t around anymore. Q: long drawn out scientific explanation of the Ice Age. 3 weeks later she can recall every bit of this time in history as her Daddy told her. It is gospel (hee hee word on the theme).

So if you tell a child as young as 3/4 Jesus was nailed to a cross, buried in a cave only to come back again that will BLOW HER MIND. Or that he is some sort of wizard that turns water to wine so hey mum why can’t you? (if only my child).

I have appeased myself and said that it’s ok to be exposed to Christianity, I will also show her all the other religions there are and take her to a Mosque, introduce her to a Buddhist monk. I’m here to guide you sweetheart but what I don’t want to do is push a religion on you at such an impressionable age that we don’t even follow ourselves – but we do celebrate Christmas and Easter? Raving hypocrites.

*And side note she was in the nativity play last year and it was so adorable. She faced the wrong way the whole time as she was watching Joseph and Mary play with the baby.

Perhaps I need to stop thinking so much – take the good things of the religion. The ten commandments are to be fair a great basis for living: thou shall not kill, thou shall not commit adultery. There is a great sense of community, helping others in need, helping those less fortunate.

NO WORD OF A LIE — AS I’M WAFFLING THIS HAPPEN: –

*Door goes*

It’s a Jehovah’s witness who recites the bible for me and tells me that the world is in such a bad place, the bible said it would be and said that Armageddon is coming.

*sigh*

Gone to put the kettle on…

 

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Time makes a daddy

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This blog, even though he doesn’t know it exists is about my baby daddy!

I know every couple is different blar blar and every baby is different blar blar – (I’m blar blar’ing but I do agree with that) but as soon as you get preggo – it’s you and the bean. As much as the guy is involved, it’s your body and it comes everywhere with you.

I named the blog me plus dot- as in the beginning it was. It was just me. Just a girl staring at a pregnancy test ha ha, no it was just a girl who was used to doing everything solo – rocking up at house parties, moving to new cities, travelling the world. Then I was responsible for growing a little bean, from that moment (when I was staring at the pregnancy test) it was you and me…

And even when you arrived we were inseparable. And I don’t mean like Enid Blyton style oh look at those two, they’re inseparable…more like if we weren’t within 2 metres of each other we both suffered separation anxiety.

What happened when you arrived (which I reckon happens across the globe) is Dan looked to me – ‘where are the wipes’ ‘what is she wearing today’ ‘have the packed the bag’  ‘how much of this should I give her’ – and because I had 3 hours sleep I prob would have screamed ‘JUST LOOK FOR THE EFFIN WIPES’. *compose yourself*

But something beautiful has happened to our little family. I don’t know if it’s you turning 3 – but we’ve become a real genuine 3. Your daddy is your parent. He feeds you. He dresses you. He has bought you clothes. He washes your clothes. He nurses your babies and he reads you stories. He is thriving as a daddy and it’s beautiful to see.

What I want him to know is that we are very grateful to have him (I did tell him this but it’s way more monumental when it’s out there to read).

It’s taken us 3 years…but turn the volume up and shake it –  Sister Sledge is playing.

You’re 3 (and a bit)

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Nooooooo! Time has fallen through my hands, like small grains of sand. No rhyme intended.

Alas, I returned to the working world where I commute to the city – yes that’s right the city I left to go and live in the green pastures of the Cotswolds – I’ve been on a treadmill.

I haven’t been blogging and I’ve missed it, a creative release. I needed it so much when I was in the mummy bubble and in truth I still need it. To record this weird and wonderful thing we call parenthood.

You’re 3. What an absolute milestone for us both. You are so much more easy to look after and so much more independent. It’s like having a little small adult around (most of the time).

You love:

*Paw patrol – 3 episodes + milk before bed then stories.
*Playing with water – it’s really strange. Tipping and pouring into different vessels (mostly cups) for AGES. (half hour is like a whole afternoon for a 3 year old)
*Jigsaws, drawing and painting.
*Sausages, bananas, pasta (still), ham sandwiches, chocolate.
*Trampolining, swimming, the park, football, cricket, tennis.
*All your family.

You hate:

*Brocolli (still)
*Walking!! – this needs to flip as going anywhere that entails walking means we either have to carry you or we have a painful stand off in public.

Personality: Confident, bright, inquisitive, strong-willed, funny, mature, creative, impatient, sensible, silly, caring and affectionate.

I realise that some of those are contradictions but (in my best philosophical voice) – aren’t we all? I don’t want to pigeon hole you sweetheart as I have been running from mine my whole life but I can see how we as parents, greatly influence you.

Aim: I want to show you how to handle life and how to have the tools to be you without worry of judgement or society making you feel any less than you are. But also raise you to have humility and not be an a**hole. It’s a fine line!!!

I am relaxing into motherhood now, not questioning my every move or frantically googling. So much so I’m considering having another one – am I mad????

Cyber memories

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First off – Merry Christmas everyone!!! I think this has to be my best Christmas yet (as an adult) purely because of the little one and things are just…better all round.

Focus.

So this year, Freya asked Santa for a bike! A red bike! (The colour – to our dismay – kept on changing! But we drilled in red after some time) It was just magical. There was a ribbon attached to the bike that went all the way upstairs so she had to follow it. Her reaction was just priceless.

‘My bike. My special bike from Father Christmas. He has been.’

I have this on video which I have watched many times to see her joy. I think she could have just stopped there but obviously Santa had run around like a headless chicken making sure there was stuff to fill the sack. Ahhh more toys…ahhh plastic tacky stuff…..ahhh more landfill….ahhh the guilt.

The subject for today though that I am struggling with is this. Should we post our memories to cyber space? aka all social media realms.

Opinion A: No, how awful they are private memories that you should keep private and store in your brain. Social media is the devil.

Opinion B: Yes, upload and invite the world to see snippets of your life (so long as they are filtered and your privacy settings are turned on)

Opinion C: Share Share Share we are only on this earth once and Freya has a family album online and ready to download.

The reason I write this is quite simply because I love to take photos and write. To share feels the natural next step especially at the touch of a smart phone button (?)

Also I’ve realised that yes the next statement is massively vain, fickle and probs birthed out of self esteem issues (whatever) but I make more effort if I think I could be papped. Doesn’t everyone? Which as a new mum that forgot about her image – it’s a nice to have a bit more of a reason to care about myself in a weird way. Like, make an effort mate, your daughter who is 2 has better style and confidence. So yes proceed and creatively share yourself.

But, stop!!!!!!

Don’t!!!!

Social media, smartphones and spending effort in a world that doesn’t exist will lead to addiction (checking likes) and isolation (you will no longer be able to have real relationships any more). Go forth live your life in the real world. Walks in nature, family, friends, cooking, holidays, reading, painting. A simple life will bring contentment.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! To share or not to share that is the question.

xx

 

 

 

 

Be a new age princess

Ok, so, I know this topic of discussion is not by any means ground breaking but it’s a message from me to my future grown up daughter I want her to know.

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The topic is this: Superheroes and Princesses.

The above was actually a party we went to recently, where we had: – Spiderman, Incredible Hulk, Storm-troopers, Superman and Thor! There we then about 5 Elsa’s and Ana’s running amongst the heroes. I couldn’t help but feel annoyed – cheated almost. Like feminism had no effect to children’s fancy dress manufacturers???

I don’t want the message to Freya to be let the boys have the action, let them save the world! You will be far too busy with singing snowman and ice castles to contend with worldy issues. I can’t think of one (non-sexy) female heroine: – Cat-woman (pure sex) wonderwoman (hot pants alert) black widow (side character) poison ivy (disturbed villain)…that ginger girl from Brave (haven’t seen it).

I recently saw a TED talk on how there are LOADS of female marvel characters that are heroines (or villains) who are just not known. If they are known, they are side characters or still unfortunately seen as love interests to the main male role. Why is this? Have we not moved on from Disney love stories yet?  Are we still clinging on to the concept of prince charming chopping down thorny beanstalks on his black stead to come and rescue the princess in the tower?

I feel the world is changing and Disney hasn’t caught up. Constantly on social media, ‘millenials’ (I just fit into this bracket) are told: –

*Don’t wait for your prince to rescue you, rescue yourself.
*Be the author of your own life.
*Quote: “Don’t fashion me into the maiden that needs saving from a dragon. I am the dragon that will eat you whole.” End quote!

To conclude, women are told, be strong, believe in yourself, save yourself and my darling you have the power to save the world too. Why aren’t little girls told this too?!

Alas in the run up to Christmas I see a large fluffy pink cloud approaching. Full of babies, cots, small kitchens, iron boards, peppa pig, princess dress ups, fairy dress ups, tea party sets, ballerinas, butterflies, cupcakes, pink, glitter and sequins!

Now, don’t get me wrong there is well and truly a place for glitter and sparkles…what’s not to love? So pweeettty and mesmerising! But I can’t help feeling like I’m sending Freya on a path of materialistic, superficial, domesticated pink doom.

I know I sound like a total raging feminist but haven’t we forgotten equality??? Make a film Disney that makes little boys ask the question…who would win in a fight superman or XXX? ‘XXX’ would obvs be a female who kicks ass.

And so sweetheart the message of this particularly long blog is: –

Be a new age princess.
Believe in yourself.
Embrace all the elements that make you unique.
Be kind.
Be strong.
Be tough and fight for everything you think is right and just.
You can save the world my girl.

Mummy xxx

p.s Happy Halloween my little witch (Witches are pretty cool – they have super cool special magic powers!)

Two and a bit marvellous

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Back to the reason I started this blog. You.

So, what’s going on with you.

Things you love: –

*The Hokey Cokey! Yep that’s right you love it! In fact any kind of sing song. You’re all over it. You went to a party at the weekend and you started doing it solo. Doin’ mamma proud.

*Pasta and mascarpone sauce (I googled the spelling, I swear that’s right!) I tried to give you an organic red pesto and ricotta sauce with your spinach and ricotta pasta and I got ‘this sauce is a bit yucky, I like the other one’. Right. Got it.

*You sleep with flopsy bunny every night (still)

*Your baby — except this is very exciting for me – my mum (your grandma) gave you my baby and my cot and you love it! You have named her Zoe (re-named as I called her Natalie) and you put her to bed, wake her up, put her to bed, wake her up. The poor girl can’t catch a break, no wonder she’s always ‘crying’ and ‘needs a hug’.

*Peppa pig – hence the name Zoe (after Zoe Zebra). I think we have seriously watched every single episode. I get quite excited when I think it’s one we haven’t watched…but then it’s like…oh wait…no…hold on…seen it. Damn.

*Nursery – wahoooo! Your little smiley face when I pick you up from nursery warms my heart up ten fold. You come running out of the door with a big smile on your face every time.

Things I love about you: –

*The way you run. It’s more of a sassy waddle! When you grow and stretch that waddle will go. Maybe keep the sassy element tho’.

*Your imagination is amazing. Today we played ‘doctors’ for ages. We had Mr.T.Bear who had a bad stomach and Miss.F.Pony who had poorly hooves. Don’t fear readers –  we had some cream to put on them. Then I was poorly and you were the doctor, you mimicked me perfectly and introduced yourself to the patient with your full name with complete ease. Your professionalism could put some actual doctors to shame.

*Your confidence. I don’t know if this is part of you or because you are 2 and haven’t learnt social awkwardness yet, but you can (and do) just go up to people you (vaguely) know and start asking them questions. Mostly ‘can you jump up and down, like this?’ And the best bit is you make grown men and woman jump up and down on the spot just because you asked.

*Your maturity – which at times as I write this seems odd as you are 2 and you flip out over a door being open or closed, but I forget you are 2. You laugh when adults laugh. Your sense of humour is sometimes so wicked and so well timed – I think how can you be 2??

*Your eyes – I know I’m getting into really cheesy, cliche territory here, but you are an old soul my girl. There is a wisdom in your eyes that only comes from being on this earth before and there is a sparkle that flickers so brightly when you laugh. That light makes me ridiculously happy.

*Your brain – I know mums brag but you are so bright sweetheart. You can write, F (for Freya) D (for daddy) and M (for mummy) and you can draw hearts and circles. You can say onomatopoeia, supercilious and democracy. However when it comes to saying spaghetti you really struggle. 🙂

I’ll stop waffling now. Till next month…

 

 

‘Home all day’

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I get it now!!!!

You know when thousands of partners who get up, get dressed, leave the house, go to work and then come home and say the most irritating words known to stay at home parents (I’m not sexist) everywhere…

‘Wow, what happened in here?’

‘Yes, I’ve had a great day thanks darling…oh what is that you are talking about in a passive aggressive way…the mess??? That would be your temperamental, highly strung, strong willed toddler with the attention span of a small puppy.’

‘Alright, calm down, what are we having dinner?’

‘God knows, I didn’t manage to go to the shops’ aka I wanted to avoid going into a shop and being the parent of the insane small person having an extreme meltdown over a packet of Skips.

‘Babe, I’m going to have to go back out, you’ve been home all day.’

Now before, this would always really annoy me as actually I haven’t been home ‘all day’. I try and give our child structure and fresh air and an ‘activity’ which involves bonding time for myself and my daughter: To develop her fragile little mind. Plus, getting her dressed and out of the house is more of a challenge than………..erm………….let’s just say it really really hard. So FU I haven’t been home all day. I’m not the nanny, the cleaner, the chef, the ‘stock replenisher’ and the fat controller! ha ha that isn’t PC anymore is it!

*And relax*

However, recently, whilst being off work and no nursery school, I haven’t had a lot of plans, I wake up and think ‘oh, bugger, no structure to the day – let’s just wing it at home’. Which means we just end up milling about the house. Because of this, you actually get stuff done!!!!

*Revelation*

Dan has come home to a clean and tidy house each day. I feel organised. Productive. I’m winning the war on domestic mess. Boom. Meanwhile Freya’s brain rots as she plays with play-doh for the 4th day in a row.